when to change the world

how do we know when to change something? when can you tell that you're hit the top and you're about to go crashing down? when should we want more from life?


life is strange, especially when most people turn on you. you get caught in the middle and you feel like there's no way out so you take it out on everyone. but most of all you hide inside and feel despair because you see no way out of this issue, you only see a dead end and it's closing in on you.


but then again life is no more than the sum of all the attempts you make at happiness. and if we think about it there's not much of a difference between our choices. there rarely exists one sole item which affects us so much.


we never understand why bad things happen to us and we always forget that when we're on a wave we're just waiting to be shot down. people are mean. people whom you love hurt you for the simplest of reasons.


and you begin to forget. you start to remember why you love them and it just tears you apart, this constant pull of love and despair, until you have no more sleep and no more chance of feeling right again.


i know my writing style is lacking many things but it comes unordered from my conscience. too few people have anything to say and too many write. i'm in the latter category right now.


life is simple to some, hard to the rest of us. what can you do when you feel your loved one is suffering and there is nothing you could ever possibly do to change it? should you simply step into the shadow and kill yourself inside to make her happy? do you try to make a stand and get run over by your own emotions which are a lot more powerful than you ever could imagine? or do you let yourself get carried away by the stream and hope that some day it'll all be over and you'll be none the wiser and not one bit in pain since everything has turned out ok?


whatever the answer, they're all wrong. only thing you can do is love from the very bottom of my heart despite any barrier and hope that's enough. it sometimes is and you wake up the next day with hope in your eyes. but what if something changes? a little element, a simple effect, what happens then?


i'll go to sleep, see what the world brings me tomorrow.


a new day, a new beginning. meaning whatever you do it will be erased by tomorrow. all continuation is purely coincidental.


good night me. and don't be afraid, there's been pain before, even if it comes again you'll be ready. fear it seems is the cause. everyone is afraid of everything and no one ever believes your true heart.


love the world. prepare to be hated...